The space between sets
Estimated read time: ~3 minutes
This started in the gym.
Years ago, I made a rule for myself: no phone between sets.
No checking texts. No Instagram scrolls. No looking at the news.
Just me, my music, and whatever comes to mind.
At first, it was about focus.
I already didn’t use my phone much during workouts, but I realized every time I did, the workout dragged.
I’d lose my rhythm. The energy would dip. And I stopped noticing the space around me.
I wasn’t giving the same intent or intensity to the next set.
But the more I stuck with it, the more I realized something else.
That tiny pause… The one where most people reach for their phones had value.
It was a space to breathe. To check in with my body. To observe the world around me.
And the more present I was in that moment, the more present I was in the workout as a whole.
Eventually, I started noticing how often this same pattern showed up in the rest of my life.
Not just in the gym.
But at the coffee shop.
At red lights.
In line at the grocery store.
All these tiny moments where life goes still for a second and instead of letting it be still, we reach for our phones.
Every. Single. Time.
What started as a discipline in training turned into a mindset for how I try to live.
And I’m not perfect. It’s not every time.
But just having that thought in my mind catching myself before the reach helps.
It gives me a moment to make a decision instead of defaulting into distraction.
And I think we’re missing out on a lot in the space between sets.
Why the Gym Is the Best Place to Practice Presence
The gym is one of the few places where you’re already supposed to be focused.
But most people break their focus every 90 seconds.
Phone between every set. Check a notification. Scroll for no reason.
And suddenly that 60-minute workout takes 90. Your rest periods get longer. Your energy fades.
You’re not locked in. You’re feeding two different brains, the one that wants progress, and the one that wants a dopamine hit.
Staying off your phone makes your workout more efficient, more intentional, and more mentally satisfying.
You leave feeling clear and not just sore.
You’re Training Your Dopamine Without Realizing It
Every time you grab your phone between sets, you’re teaching your brain where the reward is.
If the reward comes after you half-ass your set, you’ll keep doing that.
But if the reward is finishing your reps and sitting in that post-set silence, your brain starts to rewire around that effort.
You’re either reinforcing distraction or reinforcing discipline.
One compounds. The other just loops.
Micro-Moments Matter More Than We Think
Once I noticed it in the gym, I started noticing it everywhere else.
At the coffee shop while waiting for a drink.
At a red light.
Waiting on the elevator.
Standing in line at the grocery store.
Every moment the world pauses we fill it. Usually with our phones.
Not because there’s something urgent. Just because we’re uncomfortable doing nothing.
But those little pockets of silence are where presence lives.
And the more we let ourselves sit in them, the more connected we feel to everything else.
The Social Crutch Nobody Talks About
A lot of phone use in public isn’t about productivity.
It’s about safety.
It’s something to hold when you don’t know what to do with your hands.
That’s fine but you should be aware of it.
Because there’s confidence in being okay without a screen as a buffer.
In just standing there. Breathing. Looking around.
Not needing to prove to anyone including yourself that you’re busy or important.
Stillness is a form of presence. And presence is magnetic.
What You Might See If You Look Up
Today at a coffee shop, I noticed a flyer for a local music event happening right there in that same cafe.
Would’ve missed it if I was buried in my phone.
Another time, I saw a father and his son playing and giggling together at a table nearby.
Just a simple moment of joy but it stuck with me.
Sometimes I just notice a funny looking cloud in the sky.
These aren’t profound moments. But they remind me I’m alive.
That the world is happening.
That I’m in it.
And I don’t want to miss that.
Closing Thoughts
You don’t need to throw your phone away.
You don’t need to be perfectly present all the time.
But you can give yourself a little more space.
Space between sets.
Space between notifications.
Space to breathe, notice, and just be where you are.
Sometimes that’s where the good stuff lives.
Not on the screen but in the space between.
– Quest